(Okay, so when do I ever do anything quickly.)
Wednesday’s post was vague at best … and quite abrupt, given my new “zen” attitude I was supposed to take on.
Let’s just say this past Tuesday and Wednesday the sh*t hit the fan at work. And without going into major details, the situation has literally forced me to question whether I should run back to Detroit with my tail between my legs.
And that’s the fourth time I’ve had that thought now in the past 6 weeks.
So that’s why I asked God for inner strength.
But thanks to your thoughts, your prayers, and your general support … I think I survived the worse of it, which was having to walk back into work Thursday morning with my head held high.
Because of that, I now know that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for. And I typically don’t give up readily without fully knowing that I’ve done everything I can.
And I need to remember that … D*mnit, I survived years of infertility treatments and all the rollercoaster emotions that come with it. And, despite the fact that these treatments didn’t work, I survived.
So, whatever the outcome of these next few weeks, I will survive this as well. But not without doing my absolute best.
Please … keep those good vibes coming. I will need all the strength I can get.
Filed under: Chicago, Detroit, Infertility, Work
Good vibrations coming your way. :* :* :*
What’s going on, Em?! Still praying for you…as always!
Good vibes are comin’ at you hardcore from the other side of the pond.
And actually, I had a really crazy dream with you in it last night (I think it had something to do with thinking about you when I read that the Pens had won the cup and thinking that you must’ve been disappointed with that outcome). Anyhow, I dreamt that you had twin boys and that you were really pissed off at the RE because he was supposed to transfer only two, and you had seen a second baby that had not made it past the 5th week, but then you delivered twins, and the RE admitted that he had actually transferred three, so you hadn’t noticed the third embryo because you were only expecting two, and one didn’t make it (I know- makes no sense. Dream logic though.) Anyway, one twin was very pale, and was named Adam. The other had slightly tanner skin and was named Elohim (and I thought, ‘what a weird name- emily isn’t jewish.’ I didn’t think that naming a child a name used for God was weird, just that you weren’t jewish. ). You were just so mad at the RE for not being honest with you, but you were thrilled beyond belief to have carried a twin pregnancy to term without knowing about the second baby. And thrilled to be a parent, obviously. Weird, I know, but that’s a dream for you.
Anyhow, it was a really, really vivid dream, and I just wanted to let you know that even in my sleeping state, I’m sending good vibes your way! *though here’s hoping that if you did have a twin pregnancy, you’d have an OB competent enough to see both babies on an ultrasound!